ensuitepilgrim's Blog

Shakespeare’s comment on friendship, love, constancy and fickleness, this romantic comedy takes us from the controlled world of Verona and Milan to the wildness of the forest where, it seems, anything can happen.

A visit here is always memorable, to see a play neglected on the British stage for 44 years, apparently.
There are perhaps one or two soliloquies that meander, off- putting for a Director?
But this production overcame this with simple but effective set changes and from nearly every scene the actors sprinted to and fro.
Your credibility is no more tested than any of WS’s more popular Romantic plays; the pastoral scenes as ever providing the setting where the implausible becomes possible.
Reconciliation is the theme,though it was hard to reconcile one’s feelings towards Proteus, one of the Two – such a twerp!
Though he did send himself up occasionally.
The inevitable Rustics were great fun, plus a real,live Dog, a scene stealer!

Great evening, taxi back to Farmhouse B & B; part of Barbara’s Birthday celebrations.
Excellent breakfast after opening Cards and presents, with cups of tea, Ensuite -my favourite word!
On a personal note I was nervous about being out and about – we had an afternoon and Picnic at Charlecote a Park ( Thanks, Hannah) – because of the unreliability of some of the UROSTOMY bags.
However, came through without any problems….

Just Blogging this on a comfy settee, in The Golden Bee, with coffee and soda water….Simple things

“That man that hath a tongue, I say is no man, if with his tongue he cannot win a woman.”
― William Shakespeare, The Two Gentlemen of Verona

The last few days have seen an improvement, mentally; I feel that I have left the Purgatory of semi-awareness and have been re admitted into the land of full consciousness!
Would not presume to call it Heaven….
How do you recognise such an improvement ?

I have finished Donna Tartt’s “The a Goldfinch” – an epic book, and have begun “All is Silence” by Manueline Rivas, translated from Galician Spanish, set on the Atlantic Coast, in the era, just prior to the death of that Fascist bastard,Franco – nothing to do with the Caminho – more like “Moonfleet” meets ” Lord Of The Flies”.

Watched much of the Commonwealth Games – The Anti Olympics! Terrific…
Some great 20-20 Quarter finals ; come on you Bears!

Looking forward to Michael Portillo’s latest railway journeys, set in World War I, tonight, on BBC 2- political pillock, turned great broadcaster!

Able to concentrate for longer- crosswords, sudoku, Leader columns in the papers…..

Going to Stratford to see ” Two Gentlemen of Verona”, tomorrow, part of Barbara’s Birthday week celebrations!

Physically,still occasional Gas Attacks.
Moving towards solving leaky , Urostomy bags problem – no leaks in current version.
For the uninitiated, bags should last up to three days before changing…..

Appointment at Good Hope Hospital, today, Anti- coagulant Department, to
Set up Warfarin treatment
So, basically, I have a secondary condition around Blood thinning- all because of PE, caused by Chemo.
Cannot travel by plane for three months and if driving distances, shake a leg every hour or so.
This treatment will be regularly monitored till correct level achieved.
It is in tablet form, so in ten days or so, I can stop the self injection of Rexclane.
Am able walk around the block, up ad around the garden; may get Hannah to drive me to the allotment, later in the week.

We had a lovely w/end visit from Dan, Nelly Tom and baby Jake.
Barbara tok Tom down to the plot and they came back with potatoes,spinach, carrots French and Runner gleans, plus courgettes and lettuce- able to give them a large bagful to take home!

To close, a poem to mark the” official” beginning of WW I – putting all,our afflictions into perspective…….

FUTILITY

The sun is receding from the sky,
Which is now painted a deep crimson red
But the blood of bodies lying, left to die
Have filled this red sky with unease and dread

For, a few hours ago, a battle was fought
One side was victorious, the other was mercilessly defeated
But the value of human life came to nought
Jesus’ maxim, “Love thy neighbour” was severely dented

Among the battered bodies, a soldier rises from the ground
With great discomfiture, and holds his bruised knee
He looks around at the destruction and carcasses strewn all around
And it is only then that he starts crying inconsolably

For he is all alone, in this desolate picture of heartache and grief
He starts looking at one bloody corpse after another
For his friends and comrades, with whom his association was brief
And then he, with watery eyes, looks at the body of his brother

His brother had just joined service, he had not served in the regiment long
But Fate and Death selected him, and played a cruel joke
With his brother, with whom the soldier would sometimes sing a song
And when catching him rob apples red-handed, his ribs he would gently poke

It is only now that the lonely soldier realizes
How utterly futile it is to fight a war!
He surveys the dead fathers, sons and brothers of all sizes
He regrets his mistake, the rest of the world he wants peace for

And then he decides to do something in this endeavour, there and then
He will preach to the world the foolishness of battles
He does not exactly know how, where and when
But nobody can stop a man’s resolve, when his conscience rattles

War is NOT a necessary evil, it can be stopped
Peace and dialogue have never hurt Mother Earth
For it is better, than to have bodies mercilessly chopped
That, to a new happy world, we give a grand new birth
RONY PATRA

Saturday,26th July

This fortnight has certainly passed more quickly than the ten days in hospital and there have been some difficult scenarios.
A Switchback of a fortnight, highs and lows – although given that high temperature have been part of the ” lows”, that is contradictory!

I do not intend this particular Post to be a litany of woes; the prime function is to keep family and friends up to date, but also to inform others contemplating this surgery, or like myself ,recovering from it.

HICCUPS

Leaky bags – they are the little pouches one attaches to oneself, to cover the Stoma and contain Urine.
This seems to happen no matter how assiduously one follows the simple cleaning and drying preparations,and has continued to happen despite the attention of our specialist Stoma Nurse, Margaret.
Been give different sizes, styles, oh yes ,you would not believe it- till we find one that ” suits you sir”.
This problem is not messy but inconvenient, particularly at 2pm!
This does not happen every change,but too often.
Nurse due next Wednesday; hope she can crack it this time.

High temperature and possible Urine infection – two bouts, latterly ,necessitating calling a doctor as my temperature hit 38.5*.
That was earlier this week; Dr made thorough examination and prescribed same Anti- Biotics, as given in hospital.
Pleased to say that it is the best I have felt since Surgery,just hope the benefits outlast the course of tablets this time.

ON THE UP……

Feeling better – more of an appetite,staying out of bed 9 – 10 hours, walking Up and down the garden, which looks lovely at the moment.
Taking interest in the News, my family and being able to tackle the Guardian Crossword and read my current Novel ” The Goldfinch” by Donna Tartt.

A special word of thanks to everyone who has sent me cards and notes, wishing me well; there have been some uplifting comments and they have been very touching.
Also, thanks for text messages and phone- calls; some of them not about the appalling plight of England’s cricket team!

On a sporting note, haven’t the Commonwealth games been fabulous?
Great coverage by the BBC.
Men’s’ Triathlon and Joanna Rowsell, highlights for me, from England’s point of view and we are still ahead of the Aussies in the medal table.

Finally, must thank Barbara for looking after me – she is as outstanding as a nurse as she was as a teacher – care, compassion and when necessary,firmness.
My daughter Hannah has been a stalwart in looking after the Allotment, in all this heat….and home- baked lunchtime rolls, delicious, thanks, Han.

Both the last Post and this have been written at home; the comfort of familiar views, sights, furniture and most importantly, family.

It is Wednesday, 16th July,for two days now I have managed three light meals and been relatively pain free compared to the past 12 days.

When Pilgrims reach Santiago de Compostella, they claim their certificate from the Pilgrims’ office and celebrate, rightly, nearly all attend the pilgrims’ Mass at the Cathedral, whether they religious or not.
But , traditionally, after some respite, pilgrims would walk for a further three days to Finisterre and burn their ragged, smelly cloaks and sandals;I have to confess to not doing this after any of my Caminhos!

Is there an analogy here?
I reached my goal in coming through the Operation.(no certificate )

I reached home and left all my frequent changes ( sometime four a day ) of gowns and pyjamas, soiled , sweaty sheets behind.

So, will leave it there for now.
It’s pretty much down to me now, with support from the hospital,family and friends….
PS. Scars and Tattoos….there are different kinds of scars, on the skin and in the mind; despite the bad days of pain, I have none of the latter, but three of the former, as a result of the surgery; their minimal size is down to the brilliance of MR Ibrahim, my surgeon.
Never wanted a tattoo, nor jewellery; proud of my scars….they tell a much greater tale than any tattoo.

Saturday , 12 th July

Maybe Thursday, maybe Friday, almost certainly Saturday!

Unfortunately…..no.

A bummer to hear this morning ( Saturday 12 th ) that Monday, 14 th would be my earliest possibility of a discharge;,speaking of which, that’ s part of the problem, apparently.

Backtrack to last Wednesday, first, independent shower, despite two tubes to manage, plus bag. This was a break in what I shall refer to as the ” Gas Attacks”, which are a consequence of a procedure used during Surgery to expand the organs; some of this resides in the system and intermittently and painfully makes its escape ! At the time it was gripping.
I also suffered from bouts of retching up nothing which occurred twice a day ,for three days – thankfully, these, at least, have abated.
I shall not go in to the after effects of this, but to say that they were distressing at times, draining energy, and any interest in the world around me.
Tough work for my regular visitors, Barbara,Hannah and Tom – though they would deny this – as neither they, nor I, could anticipate what state I should be in.
( Daniel and family had kindly driven up on Sunday, to see me )

Roller coaster – good parts and painful parts of each day – tide.

To say that I never expected anything of this proportion would be a classic understatement.
Other experiences – involuntary emissions from the penis – nappy for a day!

Meantime, I have learnt how to clean up my Stoma, replace the bag and attach a night extension – checked by Margaret a nurse who specialises in this procedure and will make a home visit, next week.

One of the senior nurses, Margaret, described my operation as ” the biggest we do on here”.She and Tracey,were particularly good to me.
Wen Tracey heard my going home had been postponed , she sympathised and said,” We like to hang on to the good ones!” Ha Ha….

AN UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS

Still Saturday morning and returning from the shower with my “lamppost”,
Margaret stated that MR Ibrahim, my consultant/surgeon had been on the phone and hearing that a junior house doctor had extended my stay,was coming in to see me; raised eyebrows.

Having come to terms with a two day extension, I tried not to let my hopes rise too much.
In he came, jeans and open- necked shirt, greeted me , looked at the charts, checked the drain lead, checked my pee colour and said to the nurse to get the necessary prescription from the Pharmacy – she seemed to say that would not be possible as it was the week end.
He asked me if someone could collect that tomorrow, Sunday?
Not a problem.
Then he said ” I’ ll just make a couple of phone calls….”
Moments later he returned to say the Prescription was en route!
Out came the lead, fresh dressing; out came the catheter,by himself and I was ready for the off.
What can you say in gratitude to a consultant, who goes to such lengths,in his own time,to help his patient? ” I was just passing” he said, with a smile.
It is something I shall never forget,amongst many things I would not want to recall!

Someone described the “keyhole” surgery I underwent with MR Ibrahim,as
” Painting the hall, landing and stairs, through the letterbox”-Such skill!

Tuesday 8 th July, 7.20 am, Ward 10, Heartlands Hospital.

I thought I should try to recapture these last few days, since entering hospital ; I have left it till now for no other reason than my inability to write, brought about by frequent bouts of stomach cramps and general nausea.
Add this to the difficulty of sleeping, in what is a very quiet, 6 bed room on Ward 10, it is as near to mental , physical and emotional exhaustion as I have ever experienced…This is not lay the blame anywhere, there is no one at fault…only the hand life has dealt and trying to deal with it.

However, shifting the mood, I have so much gratitude to MR Ibrahim, my Urologist-Consultant and the team that worked with him , during my 9 hour, marathon operation,Thursday,3 rd July.I believe there were at least three surgeons present, including a Mentor from Stoke-On -Trent, plus anaesthetists.
The procedure before the surgery was straightforward – an enema for starters, followed by a walk to Theatre.
There I sat on the operating table, whilst an Epidural was inserted Into my spine, where it remained for 3 days.
Next, I was put to sleep and came to 10 or 11 hours later in Intensive Care Unit, or organised “Bedlam”at times.
Only permitted infrequent “sips” of water.
MR Ibrahim and one of the anaesthetists were there,when I came to, telling me of”success”.
Sleep was a roaring canvas of images , all ending in strange patterns engraved in the earth.
When awake again on Friday morning, I became aware of numerous leads and tubes, attached to my body.
Observing the activity in the ICU, was bewildering, with staff hurrying to patients, responding to bleeps and alarms from the variety of life supporting
monitors, writing down details of every temperature taken and urine passed. Rachel looked after me and she told me had done six months and had learned a great deal to enrich her nursing skills but it was not for her in the long term.
I don’t comprehend working 12 hour shifts in such highly skilled intensity, but we are greatly indebted to the NHS, that such dedicated people can be found.
To my relief, on Friday evening,I was transferred, eventually to Ward 10.
This was to prove to be a much calmer environment, but on in which, I was to undergo post-operation trauma…

( will take break now – need to both retain my objectivity and keep my emotions in check)

So, in the last fortnight, I had a pre – op appointment at Heartlands, where we managed to persuade the Nurse to kill two birds,I.e, for both the valve insertion and the surgery.
She graciously agreed and thus avoided an unnecessary visit to Heartlands.

Then there was the valve/ umbrella insertion at Good Hope , to prevent clots tracking up to the brain. Brilliant process,; impressive practitioners!

Fitness test last Monday,breath test then on a fixed wheel bike with 10 leads attached and breathing mask – Bradley Wiggins style…

Finally, meeting with the Urologist, Mr Ibrahim, to sign the consent form for the op.
He told me a mentor would be present during the extensive surgery – removal of bladder, pancreas and other bits and pieces – micro surgery.

So, it was with some glee and relief, we travelled down to Berkhamsted, for a couple of days with Dan & Nelly,Tom & Jake.
We had a lovely time.

That’s Tom Henry.
Then we have

After returning home, we took off in the Motorhome to Diamond Farm, near
Oxford – A gem of a site..boom, boom!
BBQ in th evening, World Cup.
On Monday we went into Oxford.I had never visited, being Hoi Polloi….
I was besotted with the place…what a privilege to study in such an amazing
setting.
Well, it’s all over bar the….

Wednesday – allotment, over to see Jude in Kings Heath,visit Dave A, to wish him happy birthday.
Take my pre-op drinks

Then to Heartlands on Thursday,3rd July @ 7.30 am for admission.
Surgery, High Dependency Unit for a couple of days afterwards.
On to Ward 10
Then,I have to demonstrate I can manage my externals…before discharge.

“Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts. It’s what you do with what you have left. ~”Hubert Humphrey

19/06/2014

8 am arrival at main x-Ray , Good Hope Hospital.

Procedure:- Insertion of a Vena Cava Filter, via the neck, main vein.

Local anaesthetic. Painless procedure undertaken by Dr Jaffe, who was informative and reassuring throughout the entire process.

I lay on the bed, in theatre, with my head to the side,swathed in disposable tissue; the dr was assisted by three other staff.
I was shown the position of the filter on the x-Ray screen; looked like a little parachute.
It’s purpose is to prevent any clots reaching the brain, during surgery.
This is a consequence of the Embolism discovered after the last CTC Scan.
It will be removed at some point after surgery.

Back in recovery room, by 10am , where I was offered tea and sandwiches which were very welcome after the Fast!

As ever, the care and consideration of all staff was brilliant.

And next in this sometimes unpredictable journey?

Monday,23 rd June, a Fitness Test at Heartlands Hospital, to see if I can cope with amount of anaesthetic needed to keep me senseless for a seven hour operation.
Then on Friday 27 th, a meeting with the Urologist at Heartlands, where I shall be expected to sign my life away on a Consent Form.

Well, that’s what we know about….

‘Doctor, doctor, you’ve taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don’t feel well.’ ‘That’s quite enough out of you!’

11 th June, penultimate day of excellent holiday in Sabinillas; tomorrow a flight from Gibraltar back home.
Usually, I would be consoled by the prospect of both the World Cup and First Test Match to look forward to but there are other more serious distractions in the next fortnight.
Three hospital appointments – that I know of, leading to major surgery in early July.

Before this holiday, I had greatly recovered from the side effects of Chemotherapy, but only to be told, after a CTC Scan, that I had a Pulmonary Embolism, edge of right lung.
That resulted in my having to inject myself, in the abdomen, with Enoxaparin Sodium every day.The PE probably resulted from the Chemotherapy, making me anaemic.
It is a relatively painless procedure.
After a long session with the Urologist at Good Hope during which he informed me that the above scan showed no other traces of Cancer and at the end of which I made him aware of the surgical route I had decided to take – removal of the bladder.
He was disconcerted when I told him I was flying to Spain the next day, because of the clot.
However, the decision to continue with the holiday has turned out to be a good one, staying in the apartment of our good friends, Anne & Dave Ayling.

So , here are some photos of the holiday:-

The old part of Estepona.

A procession in Marbella.

We are hopeful of a trip in the Campervan before the operation, appointments permitting.
Meanwhile, the logistics of tending the garden, the allotment, between Test Cricket & The World Cup.

Friday, 23rd May

Having undergone another blood test at the Ambulatory Care Unit or
the Walking Wounded ! They telephoned to say that the test showed An improvement in the Platelets count; the daily injections seem to be working.

However, received phone call this morning from Heartlands Hospital, part of the same Trust as Good Hope.
From the Physiology Dept, informing me that they had a request from my Urologist, to run a Fitness test on me – needed for what would be a lengthy anaesthetic prior to surgery in June – they had a free slot this PM.
Too good to be true, so knowing it was going to be exercise, I put on my Wolves’ Kit, only joking!
Got there and was received very punctually at 1pm.

However, when I informed the physiologist that a week ago I had been diagnosed with a PE in my right lung,he said he needed to consult with his Registrar, as this was problematic.
After ascertaining that I had been on injections for blood thinning over the last week, he informed me that it was too risky to proceed!
There had been no communication between the two hospitals on this.

He was very apologetic, but he was doing the right thing.

Meanwhile, I await a call for my ” fitness” test in the near future.